If you were to ask a Hoosier, someone who has lived in Indiana all their life, what the meaning of their namesake is, chances are they would have no clue. But if somehow you do find someone who knows, then where are you looking? As a fellow Hoosier myself, I have no clue what it means. But do not worry (you weren’t), together, we will explore the true meaning of what a Hoosier is. 

Firstly, we must look at our big sister school’s mascot, the Indiana University Hoosiers and how it ties into the definition of a Hoosier. During the home opening IU football game, Hoosier the Bison made his debut as the official team mascot. In 1965, IU first adopted the bison as the official mascot and it remained the mascot until 1969. 

Now he has come back following the passage of the IU Student Body Congress’s “Bring Back the Bison Act.” However, the IU mascot has gone through a series of glow-ups through the years, as it has been an owl, raccoon, eagle, collie, bulldog named “Ox” and Mr. Hoosier Pride, whatever that is supposed to mean. 

But still, these constant changes of the mascot leads to the question of whether a Hoosier is a Bison or if the Bison is just named Hoosier. Or are we Hoosiers just very indecisive? That I don’t know. However, the whole bison thing isn’t foreign to Indiana, as they were prominent in Indiana when settlers first arrived. Although, when have you ever come across a bison in the flesh in the present, except for those who survived dating one unknowingly?

According to slurs.info (which is a lovely thing to add to your search history), a Hoosier is a slur for white trash. Specifically, it is used as a slur in the South. I don’t know if that is supposed to be a symbol for something or the reason why we are all so funny. But also, are we secretly being called a slur by southern schools like Alabama, because if so, what even is a Crimson Tide? Laundry detergent? 

Looking for some other explanations, I discovered that a Hoosier is also a type of desk. Again, I don’t know if that has some underlying symbolism, but it makes a great random fact to share. 

So, what is a Hoosier? The answer is that no one knows, and that’s the only thing we know. But being a Hoosier is something that we Indiana-ns can claim as uniquely ours, and we can’t say that about much (maybe Hacienda). 

To conclude, I would like to present alternative options for a different IU mascot, as I think we could do better than a bison. However, I am not touching the IU South Bend mascot, as Titus is a gemstone. Anyway, I think it would be cute to have IU’s mascot be the Ice Cream Sundaes instead, with emphasis on the cherry to keep the iconic red. 

While it might not have that scare factor that some other mascots have, the IU Ice Cream Sundaes would look great on a t-shirt. Also, I’m thinking about what would look better visually. Plus, we’ve seen the whole lions, tigers and bears thing a dozen times, and after a while, it gets kind of old. But being known as the Ice Cream Sundaes is very unique and if some other school tries to touch that, then they would obviously be a copycat. 

Some other nominees include: Hozier when he isn’t on tour, the Glossier balm dotcom tube or a middle-aged man holding a fish he caught like it’s a prize, as that really captures the Midwest spirit. 

All in all, Happy April Fools! I hope this gave you a giggle, but I am very serious about these mascot alternatives, and they are no joke. In fact, where was my invitation to determine a new mascot? Someone get me on a committee.